Most people assume that once Logan is sent home from the hospital, that he is all better.
That would be an incorrect assumption.
Most people would also think that, for me, the hard part is over.
Also incorrect.
You see, the truth is that they both suck.
In the hospital, I have to hand over controll. When you are the Mom of a sick child, that is very hard to do. You have a schedual that you've developed over the years that fits your child best. In a hospital all that goes oout the window. Also, it is difficult to juggle other kids when one is in the hospital. Someone always feels left out. Always. With Dustin here, even if he works during the day, it is easier to split time. Alone, it just isn't physically possible. The back and forth is exhausting on everyone, and tired kids are cranky kids, and cranky Mom's aren't patient.
Home. At home I have all the controll. I also carry all the responsibility. The medication schedual is all on me. It's a lot of pressure. I'm still busy, and the kids still have to wait. I actually get less sleep when we do home infusions. I also have to juggle infussions while he is at school, early pick ups, medication forms, making sure meds are delivered on time, IV sites stay dry and clean, and all respiratory treatments.
It's a toss up really. They are both hard in some ways, and better in others.
Last time was a set two week course. This time will be longer.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Dear Hospital Staff
I love that you continue to operate on your 24 hour schedual! Those night nurses who come on at 7, yet don't show their faces until 9 are my all time FAV! Followed only by the great RT's who want to give my kid a breathing treatment at 2 am. We do them at home like that all the time.
They are so full of energy and so willing to help. I really love it when they are so in need of something to do, that they decide to wake up my sleeping child.
His favorite thing too, is to be there, alone, while you peel tons of tape and bloody gause away from his sore incision site and scrub his PICC line. I can just picture the look of delight on his face. He'll have sweet dreams now for sure.
I really look forward to the phone calls after I've finally fallen asleep for the first time in a week. The warm and fuzzy feeling that is left after trying to calm down my child over the phone, instead of being there, just makes my heart happy.
Please, can you also ignore his beeping IV pump tonight? He sleeps so sound to the wonderful background noise it provides.
You can be sure, I'll be there now bright and early, looking ever so lovely with my messy hair and no make-up puffy raccoon eyes from the night of happy tears I shed over the wonderful care and respect you provide to my son and our family.
Thank you for this wonderful night!
They are so full of energy and so willing to help. I really love it when they are so in need of something to do, that they decide to wake up my sleeping child.
His favorite thing too, is to be there, alone, while you peel tons of tape and bloody gause away from his sore incision site and scrub his PICC line. I can just picture the look of delight on his face. He'll have sweet dreams now for sure.
I really look forward to the phone calls after I've finally fallen asleep for the first time in a week. The warm and fuzzy feeling that is left after trying to calm down my child over the phone, instead of being there, just makes my heart happy.
Please, can you also ignore his beeping IV pump tonight? He sleeps so sound to the wonderful background noise it provides.
You can be sure, I'll be there now bright and early, looking ever so lovely with my messy hair and no make-up puffy raccoon eyes from the night of happy tears I shed over the wonderful care and respect you provide to my son and our family.
Thank you for this wonderful night!
Soy Allergy
That's what we're going with for the time being.
Wich means.... cutting out any and all soy from my diet.
I challenge you- check some lables in your cupboard... EVERYTHING HAS STINKING SOY IN IT!!!
I haven't gone grocery shopping this week, cause well, I had planned on getting by with fast food and what we had in the freezer.
It doesn't leave me much to go on. Tonight I had wheat thins with cream cheese and salsa. And a left over pork chop for lunch. Yumm.....
For now I have no other option. I'm still finding I get wheezy once in a while, and the hives, while not very visable any more, still pop up and make me itch. So, until I'm over this reaction I can't get tested. And with Dustin gone I don't want to risk putting myself back in the ER.
Any way.... I just wanted to whine. Thsnk you for coming to my pitty party.
Wich means.... cutting out any and all soy from my diet.
I challenge you- check some lables in your cupboard... EVERYTHING HAS STINKING SOY IN IT!!!
I haven't gone grocery shopping this week, cause well, I had planned on getting by with fast food and what we had in the freezer.
It doesn't leave me much to go on. Tonight I had wheat thins with cream cheese and salsa. And a left over pork chop for lunch. Yumm.....
For now I have no other option. I'm still finding I get wheezy once in a while, and the hives, while not very visable any more, still pop up and make me itch. So, until I'm over this reaction I can't get tested. And with Dustin gone I don't want to risk putting myself back in the ER.
Any way.... I just wanted to whine. Thsnk you for coming to my pitty party.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Logan Update.... and other goodies!
Okay, I'm going to start with the other, and it's not really anything good.... don't know why I wrote it like it was!
I got home late from the hospital tonight, about 11:00 pm. As I was approaching the turn onto our street, I noticed very bright lights. As I turned onto opur street it was easy to see that it was a Mobile Command Center. "Huh...." was all that ran through my mind. Must be training, or a news story...... what ever.
I put the kids to bed, fixed my self a snack since I skipped dinner (a whole other topic!) and settled down on the couch to check emails and fb, you know, all the important things in life.
As I scrolled thru fb, I saw an article from a friend who lives here on post. It very clearly explained what was going on in my front yard. Someone high jacked a car, crashed thru the fence, ditched the car, and is hiding out in MY NEIGHBORHOOD.
As if that wasn't enough, I'm alone. And ..... "did I remember to lock this door, or that door, I have only a million in the house. Was that light on when I left?...." I can't seem to stop. I'm not usually a worrier! But I'm tired, and I'm stressed, and, and, and...
I keep peaking out my window to see if they are still there.... they had cold sodas out too..... don't think I wouldn't notice that.... maybe I should walk over and see if they've caught him.... or atleast ruled out MY house as his hiding spot. My back gate is locked.... I think.... I'm too scared to go out and check now though!
*************************************
That was getting nowhere, so onto Logan News! I'm going to work backwards, since I started there already!
I didn't get to leave the hospital until 10:45pm. For some reason, RT decided to ignore my childs need for breathing treatments. And after a bronch- come on! Really? They just loaded up his lungs with all kinds of saline.... gotta get that stuff out! I began asking where they were at 6ish. At TEN someone finally came up. Not even his RT, but whatever! I was about to drive home and get my own stuff to do it.
She had to leave to go back to her floor, so I ended up giving it to him anyway. He sounded very tight, and had a hard time getting anything to move. The jiggling of the vest irritates his PICC, and his arm is very sore. I had his nurse get him some tylenol.
Sometimes I think just know that the people there care enough to give him something, even though it's probably not going to help much, makes him feel better.
Logan ate dinner.... three times tonight. Yes, three. He's taking full advantage of the "all you can eat" rule. All in all he felt very well today. He went up to the regular pediatric floor around 2pm. He just relaxed in his bed, played vidoe games, and ate.
Gavin and Jacey were super stoked to go visit Logan. I packed them a picnic dinner and they ate with him. They had lots of fun. I tried to get a pic, but the battery is dead.... go figure!
PICU
This was the most bestest admit we've ever had! We were asked to show up at 9, wich we did, and were right on time. His doc was sitting at the nurses station finnishing up all the paperwork. His nurse came right in, got him stettled and started his IV. It took two tries, but he was brave. The PICC nurse showed up right on time, as did everyone else...... AMAZING! His sedation meds were pushed at 0945. He was fully awake and done by 1050. WOW! The PICC was the fastest he's ever had. Only about 15 mins from start to finnish, before I realized he had started, he was pulling out the guide wire. Andrew... ANDREW, ANDREW...... have to remember that name!
The bronch was another story, kinda. It was still very successful. They woke Logan between proceedures just to make sure he was doing okay and not too under. He was hilarious and talkitive, the doctor had fun messing with him. Then they knocked him right back out, and got started on the bronch. I have never seen anyone cough SO hard. The reflexiveness of the whole cough process is amazing. After a while though, it just begins to look like torture. They shove it in, he coughs it out, they push back in, squirt in sline, makes him sound like he drowning, he coughs it back out, they push back in and suction.... it was a lengthy process. And since he's not totally out, and able to cough and respond to pain, his arms instinctively try to reach for his mouth. I got to help hold him down, wich meant I was right in the middle of all the action. It was very interesting to have a first hand lesson on lungs, and all the other cool things I saw on the monitor.
Once it was over we propped him up on his side to keep his airway open and just let him cough his heart out. He woke up happy and silly and cheerful like nothing had ever happened. Ahhhh...... brings me relief to know he'll never remember it. I'll never forget it, but that's not the point.
He got to eat lunch, and was visited a few times by his docs, one of them we know from church. It's always nice to have a familiar face around. It brings me comfort.
From start to finnish everyone we've dealt with today has been great. They really do take great care of him there. I feel completely comfortable leaving him there over night....except I wish I were there to avoid the crazy man running through my neighborhood.
I can tell I won't get ANY sleep tonight. I only had 2 and a half hours last night. There's always tomorrow... right?
I got home late from the hospital tonight, about 11:00 pm. As I was approaching the turn onto our street, I noticed very bright lights. As I turned onto opur street it was easy to see that it was a Mobile Command Center. "Huh...." was all that ran through my mind. Must be training, or a news story...... what ever.
I put the kids to bed, fixed my self a snack since I skipped dinner (a whole other topic!) and settled down on the couch to check emails and fb, you know, all the important things in life.
As I scrolled thru fb, I saw an article from a friend who lives here on post. It very clearly explained what was going on in my front yard. Someone high jacked a car, crashed thru the fence, ditched the car, and is hiding out in MY NEIGHBORHOOD.
As if that wasn't enough, I'm alone. And ..... "did I remember to lock this door, or that door, I have only a million in the house. Was that light on when I left?...." I can't seem to stop. I'm not usually a worrier! But I'm tired, and I'm stressed, and, and, and...
I keep peaking out my window to see if they are still there.... they had cold sodas out too..... don't think I wouldn't notice that.... maybe I should walk over and see if they've caught him.... or atleast ruled out MY house as his hiding spot. My back gate is locked.... I think.... I'm too scared to go out and check now though!
*************************************
That was getting nowhere, so onto Logan News! I'm going to work backwards, since I started there already!
I didn't get to leave the hospital until 10:45pm. For some reason, RT decided to ignore my childs need for breathing treatments. And after a bronch- come on! Really? They just loaded up his lungs with all kinds of saline.... gotta get that stuff out! I began asking where they were at 6ish. At TEN someone finally came up. Not even his RT, but whatever! I was about to drive home and get my own stuff to do it.
She had to leave to go back to her floor, so I ended up giving it to him anyway. He sounded very tight, and had a hard time getting anything to move. The jiggling of the vest irritates his PICC, and his arm is very sore. I had his nurse get him some tylenol.
Sometimes I think just know that the people there care enough to give him something, even though it's probably not going to help much, makes him feel better.
Logan ate dinner.... three times tonight. Yes, three. He's taking full advantage of the "all you can eat" rule. All in all he felt very well today. He went up to the regular pediatric floor around 2pm. He just relaxed in his bed, played vidoe games, and ate.
Gavin and Jacey were super stoked to go visit Logan. I packed them a picnic dinner and they ate with him. They had lots of fun. I tried to get a pic, but the battery is dead.... go figure!
PICU
This was the most bestest admit we've ever had! We were asked to show up at 9, wich we did, and were right on time. His doc was sitting at the nurses station finnishing up all the paperwork. His nurse came right in, got him stettled and started his IV. It took two tries, but he was brave. The PICC nurse showed up right on time, as did everyone else...... AMAZING! His sedation meds were pushed at 0945. He was fully awake and done by 1050. WOW! The PICC was the fastest he's ever had. Only about 15 mins from start to finnish, before I realized he had started, he was pulling out the guide wire. Andrew... ANDREW, ANDREW...... have to remember that name!
The bronch was another story, kinda. It was still very successful. They woke Logan between proceedures just to make sure he was doing okay and not too under. He was hilarious and talkitive, the doctor had fun messing with him. Then they knocked him right back out, and got started on the bronch. I have never seen anyone cough SO hard. The reflexiveness of the whole cough process is amazing. After a while though, it just begins to look like torture. They shove it in, he coughs it out, they push back in, squirt in sline, makes him sound like he drowning, he coughs it back out, they push back in and suction.... it was a lengthy process. And since he's not totally out, and able to cough and respond to pain, his arms instinctively try to reach for his mouth. I got to help hold him down, wich meant I was right in the middle of all the action. It was very interesting to have a first hand lesson on lungs, and all the other cool things I saw on the monitor.
Once it was over we propped him up on his side to keep his airway open and just let him cough his heart out. He woke up happy and silly and cheerful like nothing had ever happened. Ahhhh...... brings me relief to know he'll never remember it. I'll never forget it, but that's not the point.
He got to eat lunch, and was visited a few times by his docs, one of them we know from church. It's always nice to have a familiar face around. It brings me comfort.
From start to finnish everyone we've dealt with today has been great. They really do take great care of him there. I feel completely comfortable leaving him there over night....except I wish I were there to avoid the crazy man running through my neighborhood.
I can tell I won't get ANY sleep tonight. I only had 2 and a half hours last night. There's always tomorrow... right?
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Hives
>
Warning:
This post contains graphic pictures... of myself!
If you do not wish to see me and all my fattiness.... read no farther!
On Friday night I noticed two small hives on the insides of my wrists.
The rest of the night they spread.
And they spread.
They spread some more.
I woke up in the morning with a very sore throat (felt like I would gag when I swallowed) and chest pain. My face was swollen, so were my hands and feet.
I took myself into the ER.
It was the only time I've not had to wait in a hospital at all.
I'll spare you all the details... it was lots of meds, IV, and nebs. Then we waited.
By the time they sent me home, only a slight outline of the hives remained.
A few hours later... I started to itch. This time I took pictures!
Keep in mind my feet and face were pretty swollen. As the day went on, it got worse. When Dustin got home, he took more pictures....
By the time I went to bed, I had gotten them under some kind of controll. Today I dod really well, until right now. They are coming back and I still have 3 hours til I can take more Benedryl. My chest is begining to feel tight again. Hope the inhaler works!
Warning:
This post contains graphic pictures... of myself!
If you do not wish to see me and all my fattiness.... read no farther!
On Friday night I noticed two small hives on the insides of my wrists.
The rest of the night they spread.
And they spread.
They spread some more.
I woke up in the morning with a very sore throat (felt like I would gag when I swallowed) and chest pain. My face was swollen, so were my hands and feet.
I took myself into the ER.
It was the only time I've not had to wait in a hospital at all.
I'll spare you all the details... it was lots of meds, IV, and nebs. Then we waited.
By the time they sent me home, only a slight outline of the hives remained.
A few hours later... I started to itch. This time I took pictures!
Keep in mind my feet and face were pretty swollen. As the day went on, it got worse. When Dustin got home, he took more pictures....
By the time I went to bed, I had gotten them under some kind of controll. Today I dod really well, until right now. They are coming back and I still have 3 hours til I can take more Benedryl. My chest is begining to feel tight again. Hope the inhaler works!
D Day
Tomorrow's the day!
Dustin leaves for the feild. He will be gone until late Wed night.
Logan is being admitted to the hospital.
I'm still trying to recover from my allergic reaction.
I'm still trying to tie up lose ends.
I'm trying not to panic.
As I write this I'm feeling more hives come on.
I really wish I knew what it was that caused them, so I know what I need to aviod!
Oh, and I cracked the screen on my laptop.
I also have a ton of bows to get ready for my open house.
What a week this will be!
Dustin leaves for the feild. He will be gone until late Wed night.
Logan is being admitted to the hospital.
I'm still trying to recover from my allergic reaction.
I'm still trying to tie up lose ends.
I'm trying not to panic.
As I write this I'm feeling more hives come on.
I really wish I knew what it was that caused them, so I know what I need to aviod!
Oh, and I cracked the screen on my laptop.
I also have a ton of bows to get ready for my open house.
What a week this will be!
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