About "Normal"

I finally was ablle to get into my doctor to talk to her about my ADD. It's been so bad lately. I started back on meds today.

The mind is such a crazy thing, I feel great. I am guessing half of my mood is just knowing how much easier every day life will be. I think the other half is probably due to the medication itself. It wasn't until I actually sat and said the things out loud, things everyone who lives with me already knows, that I realized how disabled I really am by ADD.

When it only affects me, I forget to do something for myself for instance, I can manage. When it affects my family, it's another story. I can't stand to see them suffer because of my shortcomings. It makes me feel awful about myself. It can really lead to a bad depression, if I let it go too far. Not normal.

I wonder how many people are treated for a depression, that is really caused by something else. If I didn't know better, I'd go into a doctors office describing my symptoms, and walk out with an anti depressant. Helpful for depression, but won't help the underlying cause..... so depression would persist. Not normal.

Just knowing the prescription is there in the cabinet for when I need it, lifts so much anxiety from my life. If I have a busy day, errands to run, appointments to make, grocery shopping to do..... I would spend the day before worrying about wether or not I'd be able to accomplish the days tasks. That anxiety in istelf would make it nearly impossible to sleep the night before, leaving me sleep deprived, stressed, and feeling sick. Most deffinately NOT normal.

It still amazes me that one pill- one tiny little pill- can make such an important difference in my life. It can make me feel normal.