Dear Human

Dear silly-not-so-smart Human,

I am still a baby, this is true. However, I am not a human baby. I am a puppy- and a nuaghty one at that.

Did you have fun last night in the rain? Midnight is a great time to find trouble. I left that pile of poop by the back door just so I could play in it. The secret to how I got it so runny and stinky? I've been sneaking big dog food! And any other fun morsels I can fit in my mouth.

I really loved that you gave me a bath and made me smell better before you put me to bed. Did you really think you got all the poopies though? Silly human, I hid some!

I slept for 7 hours with out crying and kept my crate clean. You thought we were making progress......
APRIL FOOLS!!! I was just setting you up for more fun.

When you let me out this morning at 7 am, it was cold. And you left me out there too long, and you didn't stand out there with me either.

It's okay though, I had great fun playing in my secret poop. I smeared it all over your back door and patio too. I know how you love to clean. Did it smell extra bad??? My tummy is upset from all the big doggie food I've been sneaking. My bad.

Thanks for giving me another bath. You must love laundry too. I really enjoyed our snuggly time after too.

The human Dad isn't very smart either. He wanted you to start taking me for rides in the back of the car so I can learn how to be a good boy and go on rides. I did not like the back of the car. Maybe you were a little smart lo leave me back there though.... remember I said my tummy was upset?

After I left runny poopy all over the back of your car, I was stinky and lonely. It wasn't very nice of you to roll down the window and make gagging noises. Then you left me there again! To teach you a lesson, I figured out how to untie my leash, climbed over, and helped myself to the warm cozy coat in the back seat.

Instead of leaving me there, you interrupted my nap and threw me back in the back. you thought you tied me up better this time.... silly human. I climbed back over, smearing more pooy in your car. I also heard you quiet plea that the little human girl not add to the mess.... don't worry, if she puked, I would just eat it for you.

Did you have fun cleaning the car? It's really big, you were out there a long time! While you were cleaning my tummy hurt again, and I found MORE poopies to play in.

I do have to thank you for my third bath today. I really like the warm water and quality time we are spending together. After you dried me off you wrapped me up so nice and cozy. Did you want to snuggle or were you affraid I'd make another mess if you put me down?

Either way.... I'm out side playing right now and going potty. I know you're affraid to open the door. Am I going to make you give me another bath? Only time will tell.

Love,
Duke