Surgery Day

It's 6:30am right now and I haven't slept but 10 minutes. I haven't even really tried though! My plan was that if I stayed up all night and kept busy I wouldn't have time to lay in bed and worry, or get nervous, or miss Dustin. So I've been up all night cleaning, organizing, sorting. I guess I just need to know that everything is in order before I leave for surgery. I've gotten quite a bit done. It's amazing how relaxing it can be when the kids are asleep and you know what you put away will stay that way for a while.

I'm not really scared about the surgery. I'm so ready to feel better that I'm looking forward to it. It is still weird to know that Dustin won't be there when I wake up, or be at home to take care of me. He brings so much comfort to me when I'm needing comforted. It's really the best feeling ever. As much as I've gotten used to being on my own, when I'm sick or hurting and laying on the couch in a ball, I need his lap for my head. He can make everything seem all better.

Only 5 more hours and I'll be at the hospital. I have so much still to do between now and then. I'm interested to see how I handle things once I'm at the hospital and alone. I know though that so many of you are thinking of me and your emotional support means so much. I still don't regret doing this now. I want it over. I want to feel well when Dustin gets home so we can enjoy our time together.